I tried quitting drinking 4 times in 5 years...
- Rachael Thomas
- Aug 12
- 2 min read
I have quit drinking and started again about 4 times in the last 5 years, because I'm not enough of an alcoholic...
Let me explain.
When you have a "real problem", your life will usually start to implode. You'll become unreliable, perhaps even unbearable for others to be around. Your friends and family will talk - you'll probably even get taken aside and told it's time to get help. This will likely see you get into some kind of recovery programme - and from hence forth the world will know that they will never, ever be able to ask you to have another drink.
But social drinking is different, right? One or two vinos with your friends is harmless. A little 5pm reward while you're cooking never hurt anyone. One big night here or there and a sore head is worth it if you had fun, isn't it?
Not if it's quietly acting as the buffer between you and your pain. Not if it's providing you with a convenient mask to allow you to battle on through socially uncomfortable situations. Not if it's the only thing that stops you feeling lonely...
Alcohol was all of these to me, and although the effects weren't glaringly obvious at first, over time they linked together to form a heavy chain around my ankle, and eventually the price I paid to escape, became the prison I had to exist within.
I open up about all of this in the pod this week, and I get more vulnerable than I ever have about a topic that I have felt a great deal of shame around since I first discovered it, as an unsuspecting teen.
The bottom line is that you don't have to be a rock bottom addict to have a problem with something. You just have to recognise that the version of you that wants to feel incredible can, but, just like the Barbie movie, you have to accept feeling everything else too. That's the bargain.
Come hear the rest, on episode 3 of The Create Yourself Podcast.
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