Ever been to a singles night in your 40's?

I have...

So a little while ago my friend messaged me to ask if I wanted to come to an over 40 singles night. My actual, out-loud answer was FUCK NO. 😱

Then she said, "you can just come as my wing woman," and something in me relaxed enough to say yes. Because if I wasn't the one hunting, I didn't have to admit I was putting myself out there at all.

Clever, right? 😏

I built a whole story around it in the days before. I'm just supporting my friend. It'll be weird and awkward, but nothing's really at stake because I'm not there for me. Mostly a lie...I'm single, I was open to meeting someone, I just didn't want going somewhere to try to count as trying.

We all build one of these loopholes somewhere. Mine happens to live in the dating world, but the "the couch is safer" story will show up wherever you let it.

So we walked in, and for the first ten minutes it was exactly as cringe as I'd pictured - awkward eye contact, small talk, that specific flavour of awkward silence. 🫣 Then a guy sat down and started chatting, and I relaxed in a way I genuinely never do on dates. Swearing. Being a bit silly. Saying what I actually thought instead of the polished version.

Here's what got me: every single person I spoke to that night said almost the exact same thing when I asked why they'd come. Sick of the apps. Sick of the ghosting. And under that, the same question none of them had an answer for - if not the apps, then where?!?

Not spoiling how the night ended (yes there's a twist, yes there was a connection), but I'll say this: I only found any of it out because I let a loophole walk me somewhere the "real me" was too scared to go alone. 

Come hear the rest, including why the whole room suddenly got brave, on episode 2 of The Create Yourself Podcast.